It’s cool out, the air is damp and the clouds hold promise of rain later. The window is open 1 inch to capture the essence of the freshness and newness this Sunday morning offers. My room is comfortable, equipped with current technology and good coffee. All is well.
On several different occasions over the years, I studied with Cheri Huber, a Zen teacher and perpetual student herself. Cheri is a no nonsense, much fun companion in the study of the ineffable. Her sayings, as captured by those around her, cut right to the core of whatever situations we encounter. Instead of “rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic,” in Cheri’s words, we are constantly engaged in trying to “perfect the illusion.”
The good news is that the illusions we create for our lives (this morning it’s this room) have substance and provide value. Today it is a quiet space to think, be and write. The difficult thing to accept is that all of it is fleeting and transitory. Only for a while is our nest feathered just so. Change is the only constant and only by letting go of the old can the new emerge.
On NPR this week, Judith Schwarz, a former trauma nurse at Compassion and Choices was interviewed. She said that while some terminally ill patients store up enough meds to kill themselves, most of them ultimately die from their illness because, despite their expressed desire, when it came time to do it, many would not. The difference is that for those who still felt control of anything, even the perceived freedom and ability to make the smallest of choices in their lives, death at their own hand would be premature.
So, while surrounded by your things, perfect the scene to your liking. Use your ability to create to its maximum. Create the most pleasing environment you can in your current circumstances. This is life force expressing itself. Ultimately it’s an expression of our desire and ability to have choice in our lives. This is where evolving consciousness lives, constantly on the edge of desire, making choices and manifesting as we go.
Desires, and our sense of what is perfect, will evolve until the perfection we once saw, for a brief moment, no longer fulfills the new longing that has welled up from within.